Currently Listening Some Kinda... By Dwele see related

It’s been a while, it been a minute since I’ve been in a state to write about life…my life.

It’s been different, I’ve been different, and I’m changing. I know I’ve said that before, I’ve said it to many times but this time it’s not me trying to change, constantly trying to talk my way into a transformation. it's me finally shutting up…not trying and letting life be how it's suppose to be. It sounds too simple to make since sometimes but now, it’s all about what I’m not doing more then what I am doing. Whatever I’m doing now will change in months time anyway because that’s how life is, it changes…people change, things change…I’ve changed

I have changed the things that I do and I live by the things that I no longer do. Sounds simple, sounds deep for no reason, sounds a tad like fortune cookie babble but its not. It’s the simplicity in life.

I befriended someone that has exemplified a lesson that continues to educate my subconscious everyday I’m in their presence. It’s a hard lesson to learn that I haven't quite gotten but I get closer and closer to its understanding each day.

Lesson: "Everyday alive is a good day"

mad simple isn't it? I thought so too I thought I could easily go through the rest of my life with saying it, living it. Living that type of joy that comfort; no matter what happens, no matter how things go, no matter how complicated it may be it's a good day. It seems real simple but see its that day where 50 million things happen from drama to happiness to work to school to just have hours worth of conversation ready to spill out of you but when that person says: “how are you?” simply with a smile and a comfort and a slight chuckle and praise saying “everyday alive is a good day”. It’s harder then it seems.

I use to strive to have long conversations about my life and what I was doing to running into an old friend to getting my heart broken on a regular occasion. I use to think it was commendable to be at the thresholds of conversations about yourself. I always needed an opinion I always needed a jury to hear my case and present a verdict. Now, It’s like I'm in solitude and I like it.

I had friends, I HAVE friends that got fed up. I had friends that got tired of my emotional rollercoaster and simply just got off the ride. I was angry, I was hurt; but then it took that one friend, that one friend to take the time to tell me something that I needed to hear a long time ago...the truth. It was hard to withstand but it made me go into this silence, this self reflection, this honesty realm. A room where I had never gone into before and I stayed there for a while.

I'm growing and I'm gonna be growing for a long time, but I don't do a lot of things and the more I don't do the more I grow. It sounds stupid, it sounds incomplete even but it allows everyday I'm alive to be a great day.


Happy holidays

love

Hey Guys, I hope everyone is doing well. I was talking to a friend

of mine about past and where we are now. And I found it interesting

that my two favorite poems by Nikki Giovani very much explain my present

and past. For your listening eyes...

PAST

'Resignation'

I love you
  because the earth turns round the sun
  because the North wind blows north
    sometimes
  because the Pope is Catholic
    and most Rabbis Jewish
  because winters flow into springs
    and the air clears after a storm
  because only my love for you
    despite the charms of gravity
    keeps me from falling off this Earth
    into another dimension
I love you
  because it is the natural order of things

I love you
  like the habit I picked up in college
    of sleeping through lectures
    or saying I'm sorry
    when I get stopped for speeding
  because I drink a glass of water
    in the morning
    and chain-smoke cigarettes
    all through the day
  because I take my coffee Black
    and my milk with chocolate
  because you keep my feet warm
    though my life a mess
I love you
  because I don't want it
    any other way.

I am helpless
  in my love for you
It makes me so happy
  to hear you call my name
I am amazed you can resist
  locking me in an echo chamber
  where your voice reverberates
  through the four walls
  sending me into spasmatic ecstasy
I love you
  because it's been so good
  for so long
  that if I didn't love you
  I'd have to be born again
  and that is not a theological statement
I am pitiful in my love for you

The Dells tell me Love
  is so simple
  the thought though of you
  sends indescribably delicious multitudinous
  thrills throughout and through-in my body
I love you
  because no two snowflakes are alike
  and it is possible
  if you stand tippy-toe
  to walk between the raindrops
I love you
  because I am afraid of the dark
    and can't sleep in the light
  because I rub my eyes
    when I wake up in the morning
    and find you there
  because you with all your magic powers were
    determined that
I should love you
  because there was nothing for you but that
I would love you

I love you
  because you made me
    want to love you
  more than I love my privacy
    my freedom   my commitments
      and responsibilities
I love you 'cause I changed my life
  to love you
  because you saw me one friday
    afternoon and decided that I would
love you
I love you I love you I love you

   -- Nikki Giovanni

PRESENT

'I'm not Lonely'

i'm not lonely
sleeping all alone

you think i'm scared
but i'm a big girl
i don't cry
or anything

i have a great big bed
to roll around
in and lots of space
and i don't dream
bad dreams
like i used
to have that you
were leaving me
anymore

now that you're gone
i don't dream
and no matter
what you think
i'm not lonely
sleeping
all alone

	-- Nikki Giovanni

Thanks to all the supported the cause!

Here's some pictures of te event.

Hopefully we're now one step closer to curing diabetes

2 Days Left

On May 7th of this year, I'll be taking part in the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation's Walk to Cure Diabetes along with a half-million other walkers across the country. Our goal: To raise $86 million to help fund research for a cure for type 1 diabetes and its complications.

This walk will be dedicated to my grandmother who I have known to have diabetes since I was a little girl. This is my way of standing up for a woman thats worth more then words could ever explain. My true personal goal is to raise enough money and be able to say I did it all for her. I not only ask for a donation but I ask for your support.

Type 1, or juvenile, diabetes, is a devastating, often deadly disease that affects millions of people--a large and growing percentage of them children and African Americans.

Many people think type 1 diabetes can be controlled by insulin. While insulin does keep people with type 1 diabetes alive, it is NOT a cure. Aside from the daily challenges of living with type 1 diabetes, there are many severe, often fatal, complications caused by the disease.

The good news, though, is that a cure for type 1 diabetes is within reach. In fact, JDRF funding and leadership is associated with most major scientific breakthroughs in type 1 diabetes research to date. And JDRF funds a major portion of all type 1 diabetes research worldwide, more than any other charity.

I'm writing to ask for your support because now more than ever, EACH of us can be a part of bringing about a cure. Each of us can make a real difference

Won't you please give to JDRF as generously as you're able?

Together, we can make the cure a reality.

Thank you,

Rakia McDonald

Please visit my Walk Web page if you would like to donate online or see how close I am to reaching my personal goal:

http://walk.jdrf.org/walker.cfm?id=86360432

Also if you would like to participate in this walk and/or would like some information feel free to contact me at: rakiamcdonald@yahoo.com

Follow this link to make a donation:

http://walk.jdrf.org/support.cfm?id=86360432